Things have been different since you came home to me. Different in a good way. I don't know how to explain it, but I can feel the change in you. The "I love yous" have passion behind them. You smile, and it feels like you want to be around me. :) We feel happy again! What doubt I had has been chased away by you. I told you of my doubts the other day. Not a fun day. But, a much needed talk between us. It feels good to be able to talk to you, and have you listen and give me your opinion. It feels amazing to have your support. You now know how much I have to fight. How many I have to answer to, just to be with you. But, as I always say.... You're worth it :) I love you more than I've ever loved anyone! The anger that I once had built up for you has melted away. I am no longer mean and spiteful. I smile once again.
Just like you said, we are going to fight... but that just shows we're not perfect. We are worth fighting for! And now that we talk a little more openly, I worry that much less. I would love to say I trust you blindly..... but I can't. Don't get me wrong, I trust you. I trust you with my heart, my love, my life. But all of that doesn't stop the knot I get in my stomach from time to time. That little twinge of fear and anxiety. I wonder if I'll ever get rid of that.I pray that some day I do. Some day, I hope that I can smile and laugh without the inward thoughts. who knows.
Anyways. I just wanted to post something happy for a change. I am so thankful for you. I really don't know what I would do without you. And even though we have made mistakes... I am willing to forgive. I am willing to put it behind us and work towards a better relationship. I love you Chadly.
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