What an interesting while its been. Since I last wrote I've been in and out of three relationships. As the year starts to come to an end I can't help but look back at the person I was. This year has been hell! I've learned that it's okay to cry. It's okay to hurt. And it's okay to open up. Most importantly, I've learned that it's really okay to be alone.
I always think they are the one, they are perfect. They will make me forget about him. Its never true. I'm still trying to be less of a toy. Less of something to be used and tossed aside. And yet I'm still getting so attached. "you keep dating douche bags" "You keep dating the same douchebag over and over again" Isn't it funny how your friends see everything so clearly. Yet you're sitting there in the fucking dark going "ummm a little help please guys"
Maybe one day I'll learn... but for now I'm going to focus on me and hopefully my magick. I'm going to make myself the strongest I can. Physically, emotionally, and supernaturally. This will be an interesting journey. And hopefully I can talk my mentor into helping me again. Hell, he needs it too. Usually one of us is pulling the other back onto their feet and handing them a map. This time we're both standing up, brushing our knees off, and heading down the road together. Well, we have plenty of company.
Anyways I'm going to freak... so I'll write more later.
Much love, strength, wisdom, and positive energy.
XOXO Ash/Nik
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