What an interesting week it's been. I'm starting to realize... that just maybe you don't fulfill me as much as I want you to. I'm realizing that you don't do all the things I want you to. Don't get me wrong I'm happy with you. And I love you more than anything... but would it be so hard to act like you want to spend time with me? To flaunt me to your friends, and invite me to places. I always invite you. I feel like you're always trying to get away. And maybe that's because I need to. I honestly need a night out. A night with my friends. I hate that I don't let myself have fun anymore.
You are always saying you could be romantic if you wanted. Why won't you??? You have never really been romantic with me. Why is that? Is it because you really don't have to try? I would love to spend time with you one on one. A walk, a picnic, a night in a hotel. I don't really care. But spending night after night wishing you would do something to make my heart flutter is getting ridiculous. I look at you and smile, my body tingles, and my mind quiets. And yet you do nothing to kindle that flame. Everyday I get excited about picking you up, or coming home. And it's almost as if you have better things to do.
Maybe I am just too damn needy.
But is that a fault of mine, or yours for not fulfilling those needs. I don't want a date every night. Just one every once in a while would be perfect. I guess if having needs is needy you're right. And if needing you is needy I'm fucked. Honestly... I fear I'm getting bored. I hoped the fun little things we bought would help... but we haven't gotten a chance to use them. Now I'm sitting here wondering what I can do to capture your attention without being too "needy". And I am honestly at a loss.
I guess I'll just stumble along like I usually do. And hope to stumble upon something that works. As I usually do. I just hope it works for you too
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